Sweet and Spicy

When people ask me about Macy, my answer these days is that she is VERY three and a half. If they have parented kids that age--even if it was a long time ago--they seem to know exactly what I mean. 

We have this rub that we use on salmon sometimes. It is a delicious blend of sweet brown sugar with a bit of a bite from cumin, cayenne pepper and chili powder. 

A delicious blend of sweet and spicy - that's our Macy girl!

A long time ago some friends termed her irresistible hugs "Macy Melts." It's like she sort of just lets herself go and melts into every corner that she can. It reminds me of when they put that heavy cover on your chest when you get x-rays at the dentist. Macy Melts are simply awesome. 

Macy has generally always had a nice temperament, and has a giant smile that can light up a room. From a very young age we noticed that she sometimes smiles so big that her eyes are reduced to small slits. 

She often gently rubs my arm when we cuddle. And, oh my, the cuddling. Morning and after-nap cuddles are two of my favorite times of the day.

Macy is often the first one to share, and is quick to check on her sister when she is hurt. It is not uncommon for her to offer a hug and rub on the back as I am consoling Norah.

But then there's the cayenne-pepper-like spice. Oh my. Frowny face, arms crossed, with a little "I'm not going to be your best sissy" thrown in for good measure. The whining, the obstinence...OH the obstinence. 

I read an article recently about dealing with toddlers. The author noted that toddlers are simply required to say/do/think the opposite of what you say/do/think. If you say "green" they will say "blue" even if their all-time favorite color in the whole world is green. I shared this with Seth, and now we frequently reference the article in the middle of Macy situations. 

Especially since it often coincides with when she is tired, it is completely unpredictable. Norah even sometimes looks at us when a protest begins and shrugs her shoulders.  

A while back I started asking Macy whether she needs some love (cuddles) in order to move on from a fit. Now she often asks for love from a time-out in her room, at which point we know she is ready.

I'm okay with a little spice. I think it could serve her well in life...as long as it is balanced with PLENTY of sweet. So far so good!

Incredible Intuition

We have been having some behavioral challenges with Norah as of late, which I have found to be very emotionally exhausting. Who knows how much pregnancy-related hormones are playing a role, but either way it has not been easy.

It completely comes and goes. We'll have a streak of several really good days and then, BAM, a day or two of struggle after struggle. On a bad day she simply can't take no for an answer, and is just generally defiant.

She is also definitely in an independent phase and wants to do everything on her own. Case in point:

I know it is important to recognize this, but it adds so much time to everything and sometimes we feel like we have to keep things moving. I made a conscious decision a few weeks ago to try to go into each moment with patience, letting her do as much as she can on her own. Just changing my mindset has definitely helped. 

The ups and downs, defiance and need for independence is obviously just part of having a toddler. And maybe that's all it is. But the teachers and administrators at Norah's school feel there is a good chance it is related to me being pregnant. 

What? We haven't even talked about it very much. But I guess that doesn't matter. 

They told me that time and time again they have predicted a mother's pregnancy based on changes in her child's personality even before the mother may even be aware of the pregnancy herself. When they suddenly see a change (for the worse) in a kid who is typically a perfect angel, they comment to each other about the possibility of his or her mother being pregnant. And sure enough, several months later the mother asks for a registration form for a baby on the way. 

Whether it is typical toddler behavior or related to my pregnancy (or the likely combination of both), we still have to figure out a way to deal with it. I really want to minimize the evenings during which there are more tears than laughter (especially those with tears from both Norah and Mommy). With a 7PM bedtime our evenings are so short anyway.

We have sort of settled on two tactics for the moment. One is taking her pillow away. She loves sleeping with her pillow, and for some reason the threat of taking it away frequently causes an immediate improvement in behavior. Until last night she had always been given an opportunity to "earn it back" by demonstrating good behavior. Last night was the first night she actually had to sleep without her pillow. It was a very hard lesson, but I knew it would come sometime and we worked through it. The first thing she asked for this morning was her pillow. 

The other tactic is a "Good Behavior" chart that I quickly whipped up one day. There is a place for us to write the day and the specific behavior for which she is being rewarded. Then she gets to choose a sticker from a special stock reserved only for this purpose and put it on the chart. It hangs on her closet door where it is very visible and we can review it frequently. So far she seems genuinely excited when we use it, so we'll continue. 

I decided to try the chart after reading in multiple sources that it is much more important to spend time rewarding good behavior than disciplining bad behavior. That makes a lot of sense to me. 

We were "iced in" this morning since the city pretty much shut down due to a prediction of 1-3 inches of freezing rain. When I say shut down, I mean as of noon on Thursday most schools, businesses and the airport had all announced closures for Friday. The city simply cannot handle ice and snow. Chicago, meanwhile, doesn't bat an eye at 12-13 inches, and can be back up and running within 24 hours of close to 20 inches. Too funny.

So anyway, we enjoyed a very productive morning with, surprisingly, very little need for disciplining from Mommy. Before nap time we had done 4 loads of laundry, made granola, dusted, vacuumed, and cleaned the kitchen. Norah was a great helper (as noted on her Good Behavior chart), and played independently really well for good stretches of time.