Day-By-Day

We have started receiving invitations (or at least Save the Dates) for activities in December. What? How can people manage to think that far ahead? 

It's one day at a time in our household, with an occasional cursory glance two weeks out.

So, how are we doing on our crazy fall full of festivals, parties, and general holiday festive-ness? Time to check in. 

Solo weekend with the girls while Seth goes to Goshen? Check. Campus beautification work day at Norah's school? Check. 30-hour trip to Baton Rouge for a wedding? Check. Neighborhood fall festival? Check. Norah's birthday party? Check. Getting everyone over being sick? Ang, check. Macy, almost check. Seth, almost check. Norah, not yet. 

Okay, with several significant milestones passed I feel a bit better. 

Let's focus on this week for Norah: 

- She is supposed to wear something specific (and different) each day. I can't even remember the reason. Monday was a team shirt, which we missed (I am an advocate of no special requirements on Monday. Ever. Just getting into the swing of things for the week, man!) Tuesday was boots. Since all she had that fit were her rain boots, she wore them and packed tennis shoes just in case. As of Tuesday I had no idea what the next three days were, but was just hoping it would be stuff we had on hand because this is a big deal for a 5-year old. Luckily yesterday was sunglasses and today was crazy socks. (Oh, and I managed to find the paper with all of the details and it turns out this is all in recognition of Red Ribbon/Drug Free week. Good to know.)

- Dance on Wednesday - must remember to pack ballet shoes, tap shoes, leotard and tights.

- School pictures on Thursday - don't forget to brush her hair. 

- Character Day parade on Friday - kids need to dress like their favorite character in a book. Luckily since Norah is going to be Strawberry Shortcake for Halloween it was easy to convince her that Strawberry Shortcake IS her favorite book character. 

- By Wednesday - send in a contribution to a spa basket for the silent auction at the fall festival.

- On Friday - send her with a baked good item for the cake walk at the fall festival. For the love!

Additionally, Halloween costumes need to be ready by tonight for multiple events. We are borrowing both and neither was in hand until Tuesday. I managed to pick up tights that Norah needed over lunch on Monday.

Weekend activities include Macy's school fall festival on Friday, sitting kids in the babysitting co-op Friday evening, Norah's school fall festival on Saturday, and Zoo Boo on Sunday.

The minor relief I felt after thinking through what milestones we had passed is fading.

How do the next 3-4 weeks look?   

Two nights of trick or treating, my prep for a big meeting and a two-day work trip to San Antonio, plus play dates, moms night out, principals meeting, babysitting co-op meeting and four birthday parties in November. 

Um, I gotta go...

Buying Time with our Kids

More commonly used in professional references, "outsource" is a word Seth and I have come to use when referring to tasks we pay others to do around the house. When we outsource at work it is usually for one of two reasons - either we don't have the skill in-house or we have too much work to handle with in-house resources alone. So we find an external (outsourced) resource to do the work. 

Let's be clear - outsourcing at home is not because we are incapable of mowing the lawn or cleaning the bathtub. We are simply buying time with our kids. 

We are hiring someone to do these tasks so that we can either spend more time with our kids or (gasp!) actually have a bit of time to do something for ourselves. 

The yard was pretty obvious - either pay someone a nominal fee or Seth could continue spending 3 hours every Saturday morning doing it himself. By the time he is done the girls are eating lunch and ready for nap so he pretty much misses them for the bulk of the day. Not to mention the fact that he is completely exhausted from performing manual labor in the extreme heat and humidity. 

Since deciding to outsource this particular task, one Saturday afternoon a few weeks ago Seth, Norah and I sat down to play a game of Sorry! while Macy contentedly played nearby. All of a sudden we realized the yard guys were there and Seth said, "Yep - that's right. He's out there mowing the lawn and I'm in here playing with my family." 

It worked! Quite literally! 

What wasn't quite as obvious is how we were going to make up for the fact that with my new job I no longer have Fridays off, which was when I often did some cooking and laundry in an effort to free up our weekends for more family time.

It really started getting to me when we were spending a good part of the day on Sunday in the kitchen with Norah repeatedly asking, "Can you do something with me?" I figure it won't be long before she stops asking, so I want the answer to be "Yes" as much as possible until then. Norah starts public school (Pre-K) this fall and because that feels like an entirely new chapter to me it has been a bit of a reality check. Time is flashing by before our eyes and I want to live more in the moment. I don't want to wake up one day and have regrets about spending too much time doing chores on the weekends and not enough together as a family. 

After all, part of the reason we both work (in addition to a desire to have fulfilling careers) is to be able to provide experiences and opportunities for our kids. But we need to make space for that to happen.

So we decided it was time to get more help. 

Our cleaning lady currently comes every other week. On a bit of a trial basis she has agreed to double the time she spends at our house each visit and do laundry and cooking as well. The first time was Monday this week. 

It was awesome. 

When we got home the house was clean, laundry was done, and two meals were prepped and ready to stick in lunch bags. 

Did I say it was awesome? 'Cause it was awesome. 

The next time she is scheduled to come will be during my 4-day business trip. I have a feeling we will think it is awesome all over again. 

The answer is "Yes," Norah. I WILL play something with you.

Mommy's Turn for a Milestone

It isn't ALL about the kids ALL the time.

Really, it's not.

This time it's about me. Yes, true, virtually every decision I make about me is linked to the kids in one way or another. It's just a matter of how many degrees of separation exist between any given decision and the kids. But I promise, the link is there.

But anyway...back to ME.

I'm making a job change. It's not what I thought my next move would be, but it makes a lot of sense for a lot of reasons.  

Over the next 6 weeks I will be transitioning to a Digital Marketing Manager position at my current company. I will be responsible for planning, developing and executing our digital/online marketing strategy, including external website, internal intranet, search engine optimization (SEO) and social media initiatives from a marketing communications perspective (as opposed to the technical side).

So I mentioned that it makes a lot of sense for me. These are some of the reasons why:

- My current role is changing a bit, in a way that takes me closer to the business (business development) and farther from marketing communications. That's the opposite direction in which I would like to be going (read: I cannot get passionate about where Chevron is going to be drilling wells in 2015). 

- Building Digital Marketing expertise is an extremely good career move, and will increase my marketability in the future. The skills are transferrable to any industry and any type of organization. Since I don't currently have digital experience the only way to build these skills is by taking this type of position at my current company - no one else would hire me into this role.

- It is simply time for a change. I have been in the same basic function for 9 years at my current company. Yes, things have changed along the way to keep it challenging and provide variety, but I am ready for something different.

- This position will require less travel. In the past (before kids) I saw travel as a perk. I am fortunate to have been able to travel to parts of the world that I may never have seen otherwise. But with kids, my enjoyable trips have turned into insane 3-day trips to Milan, half of which is travel time. I vaguely remember catching a glimpse of the famous cathedral, Duomo, while I was in Milan for a total of 48 hours. 

- I get everything above while maintaining my 4-day a week schedule.

It is clearly the right move for me. 

ME.

And also the kids (here is where they come in). And Seth, too (see note above about less travel). I knew it was time for something new, but I hadn't yet reached the point where I was so ready for something new that I was willing to give up my schedule. I need those Fridays. WE need those Fridays. 

But I was feeling unsettled. And the longer that feeling continued, the worse it would have been for me...for the kids...for Seth. 

While I am not yet in the role, I have a very good idea of what it will be like. And I feel very sure that I will be happier. 

And you know how the saying goes: "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

Another Big Chapter Comes to an End (Almost)

When Macy turned one I stopped pumping at work. The timing was great - I had a three-day off-site meeting the following week and was SO happy not to have to drag another bag along, figure out where to pump, and sneak out of the meetings multiple times a day.

I made a few significant changes to the routine when Macy turned 10 months, including not setting my alarm to get up in the middle of the night anymore, and pumping twice a day at work instead of three times. But before that I religiously pumped five times a day. It seemed like I had more all-day meetings and trips than I did when I was pumping for Norah, including Aberdeen and Milan. (I will not look back on pumping in the airplane bathroom fondly - it made pumping in a normal bathroom look good.) Luckily my milk supply was strong, so pouring all that milk down the sink during those trips was more tolerable.

It is really nice not to have to carefully plan my work day, slipping out of meetings to fit in three pumping sessions a day. And it is great not to have to carry four bags into work anymore.

I stored, labeled, and froze who knows how much milk - enough to provide a continuous supply for Macy and at least a month extra. We're still working through the freezer supply for school days, so I'm not sure exactly how long it will last.

But we aren't totally done. As with Norah we are nursing before bed and first thing in the morning. And on the weekends we still nurse before naps. I'm not sure how long that will last, though - I have noticed it is taking longer for my milk to come in, and Macy seems to be getting impatient. And truthfully, I am ready for the same freeing feeling on the weekends that I now have at work. It would be great not to have to plan my day around her naps.

I feel a big sense of accomplishment for being able to nurse both girls for a full year. I know of enough people who have had breastfeeding challenges to know that the ability to do so should not be taken for granted. And though it was not always easy (and often a serious inconvenience), I am happy it worked out for us.

Yes, I will be sad when we are completely done. Very sad. But I am thankful that it worked out for this long and will embrace the next chapter.

Everyday Moments

One of my favorite times of day is when I go into Norah's room in the morning, pull her out of bed, and cuddle with her in the chair. The house is quiet, the lights are off, and I cherish those few moments before we begin the hustle and bustle of the day.

Some of the most expected and "ordinary" moments are some of the most comforting and wonderful.

Listening to Norah sing to Macy in the car.


Sitting around the table for a meal as a family.


Walking into a room and seeing Macy's face light up with a huge smile. 


Hearing Macy's sweet voice cooing over the monitor as she wakes up from a nap.


Listening to Norah "read" to Macy as I work in the kitchen.


Sitting on the couch with Seth and the girls. 


Walking into Norah's classroom at school to find her racing across the room to give me a big hug.


Cuddling with Norah in her bed at bedtime. 


Nursing Macy as she drifts off to sleep. 

But sometimes I have to remind myself to enjoy these moments. The constant juggling act of working and keeping the household moving is tiring. Work has been a whole new kind of intense over the past few months, requiring an even greater transition from employee at 5:00 to mom by 5:15.

I'm struggling with that common working mom challenge of trying to be all things to all people, yet not really feeling like I'm being as much to anyone as I would like.

For now I will continue to remind myself to enjoy the common, seemingly mundane, everyday moments. The smiles. The coos. The cuddles. Because in the midst of the craziness, it's those moments that give me comfort.

 

We Survived

What an adjustment. I went from generally laid back days of painting, socializing, organizing, nursing and cuddling to full on work mode overnight. Within two minutes of logging in this morning one of my clients called with an urgent project. And I'm not talking a simple, robotic type of a request. He needed help preparing a ten-slide presentation for one of our high level executives to give to the CEO of a major operating company. And I thought I would primarily be sifting through emails for a few days. No such luck. In addition to this presentation (which is due tomorrow), I was briefed on everything else in the works and we have a lot to do. Quickly. Welcome back! The morning went relatively smoothly until we were 15 minutes into our drive to school and I realized I forgot to throw in Macy's bottles from the fridge. After almost an hour on the road we arrived. And Macy fussed most of the way, which is unusual. The thought of leaving her got harder and harder as the time neared and, as predicted, I cried when it was time to go. Her teachers were very sweet and sympathetic. I made it relatively quick and got out of there. They say she had a good day, though she barely slept at all. I am sure she will need some time to adjust to her new sleep environment - bright lights and lots of action. Despite the lack of sleep they said she wasn't fussy. She crashed on the way home and went to bed at 8pm. The most positive news of the day is that she drank 12 ounces and I pumped 19! It only took three times, about 5 to 7 minutes each. Not complaints here. Both kids were in bed by 8 and I have all of the bags unpacked and bottles made for tomorrow. Seth is working down here tomorrow so they will drop me off and he will take the kids to school. I am totally exhausted, but I am sure it will get easier.

Ready or Not

I think I am as ready as I can be for my first day back to work tomorrow. Leading up to it I have not felt anxious like I did for Norah's first day - I pretty much know the drill. But the closer it gets, the more sad I am at the thought of leaving Macy at school. It sounds a bit funny since I have been taking Norah all this time, but I guess there is something about leaving a 3-month old.

Macy has pretty much been attached to me since the day she was born. She is most familiar and comfortable with me, yet I will be the one leaving her. I'm pretty sure I will shed a few tears.

My pump is packed. I have a bag to bring the pumped milk home in. Macy's papers are filled out and ready to go. Her bag is packed - a crib sheet, diapers, diaper cream, extra clothes and her pacifier. Four full bottles are ready to stick in at the last minute. My computer is back in my work bag. Everything is sitting by the door, ready for the morning rush.

Ready or not, here we go.

Freedom Friday

I had today off, like usual, but the difference was that Seth took Norah up to be with my parents for the day. I hate to not be with her, but it was really nice and helpful to have the day, particularly leading up to our move.

For the first time in...oh...about 18 months, I made last minute decisions. I changed plans throughout the day, depending on how I felt and what needed to be done. I took as much time as I needed with each errand, not worrying about hurrying home for Norah's nap. When I left the house I was only concerned with my needs, not diapers, a snack and a sippy cup. And while out and about I listened to whatever I wanted to on the radio, instead of "Old McDonald" or "One, Two Buckle My Shoe."

I took advantage of the situation and was super productive while also taking time to enjoy my coffee and even squeeze in a pedicure! (I consider it my Mother's Day gift to myself and I highly recommend it to everyone.)

Meanwhile Norah reportedly had a great day with Mimi and Papa. When she woke up this morning I told her the plans and she got a huge smile on her face when I mentioned their names. Then while we were eating breakfast she whispered, "Papa," (for some reason she usually whispers his name) and I said, "Yes, and who else are you going to see?" She answered, "Mimi" as another huge grin spread across her face.

So they played, ate, went to the swimming pool, and pushed ride-on toys around the driveway. Mom called after she dropped Norah off with Seth to say Norah was pretty dirty and in need of a bath. I told her I thought that was just a sign of a great day. She ate when she got home, took a bath and went to bed without a peep...after some much needed cuddling with mom.

What's for Dinner?

Food is an ongoing challenge. I am exhausted with trying to keep up with food for Norah as well as me and Seth. I need to say up front that Seth does a good amount of cooking, too, but I definitely take responsibility for planning and making Norah's food. Due to the fact that she still only has two bottom front teeth, and that I don't love our daycare's approach to food, I am still providing all of her meals every day.

When thinking about Norah's diet, here are some of the things I consider:

- Our desire to introduce her to a variety of flavors and textures

- Organic versus non-organic: we buy organic where it makes sense in terms of cost, convenience, and health (foods with the highest amount of pesticides)

- Providing a variety of food within a given day

- Food she can feed herself versus food that she is spoon fed (we prefer the former)

I have been putting more effort into finding dishes that we can all eat. Last weekend I made a baked lentil dish. Norah hasn't seemed to love it at home, but I've sent it to daycare twice and she ate almost all of it both times. I also made wheat pasta (that Norah can feed herself) with tomatoes, basil, garlic and fresh parmesan cheese. She doesn't dig the tomatoes, but she likes the pasta with the flavors of the sauce.

Neither dish was amazing, but the point is I made two things that we have all been eating this week. Unfortunately the recipes weren't for large quantities so we are getting low already, but that's an easy fix for next time.

I can be pretty sneaky when I need to. I have been trying to get Norah to eat tofu since she doesn't get a lot of protein from meat (again, just two lonely bottom front teeth). She has eaten it here and there, but lately either turns up her nose or squeezes it as hard as she can in her hand. Nothing seems to land in her mouth. But oh, let me tell you something - she is still eating that tofu whether she likes it or not! I pureed it with plain, whole milk organic yogurt and am mixing it in everything. She seems to particularly like it with pureed blackberries and applesauce. I was also added a bit to a lentils, sweet potatoes and applesauce mixture.

I know some of this probably sounds gross, but a good piece of advice I read in an baby cookbook was to put conventional thoughts about food combinations aside. I think there is some truth to that. Her teacher told me today that she had to mix the lentil/sweet potato/tofu/yogurt/applesauce with the yogurt/tofu/blackberry/applesauce to get her to eat anything. But it worked!

One of Norah's new favorite dishes is baked oatmeal. She literally gets giddy when she sees us pull the ziplock bag out of the fridge. My recipe uses applesauce and while it calls for sugar I don't use any, so it is quite healthy. Eat it up, Norah!

Baked Oatmeal

3 c oatmeal (I use 100% whole grain)

1/2 - 1 c brown sugar (I omit this)

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 c applesauce

1 tsp vanilla

2 eggs

1/2 - 1 c raisins or blueberries (I sometimes use craisins, but otherwise omit)

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Mix dry ingredients in one bowl and wet in another. Mix together. Add raisins/bueberries/craisins. Spread in a 9x9 pan, lightly greased. Bake 20-30 minutes (I have found it to take less).

Meanwhile, the search for more family friendly recipes continues...

Second Friday Off

Today was my second Friday off and I loved it as much as the first. The main advantage by far is being able to see Norah more. She is so much fun to interact with these days, and is becoming less of a baby and more of a toddler all the time. A few stories from our day:

After refusing an afternoon nap, she walked out to the living room from the bedroom and started fussing. I did the sign for hungry/to eat:

While I was signing I asked if she was hungry and wanted to get in her chair. She signed back! At least I think she did. It was sort of like this:

It was pretty darn close, particulary for a 1 year old, and she did proceed to eat quite a bit.

Earlier in the day while we ate lunch together I took a drink from my water bottle. (Water is another word and sign we have been working on.) Norah's sippy cup was sitting on the table. As I took a drink I mentioned that it is "mommy's water." She looked intently at my water bottle, then moved her gaze directly to her sippy cup, reached out her hand, and fussed for it. Ahhhh...it's sinking in.

Now that the walker is hidden Norah is walking all over the place. Today she was super proud of herself for walking while carrying things in both hands. At one point I was folding laundry and she grabbed two things from the bed and proceeded to parade around the bedroom with a cheesy grin on her face (and tongue out as usual).

Later in the kitchen she pulled both towels off the rack (each followed by about three "uh ohs") and walked in circles around the kitchen with one in each hand.

So all in all we had another great day together. We squeezed in a trip to the pediatrician to get Norah's flu shot, and a stop at the library. We both laughed a lot. I felt productive, yet relaxed. My only regret is that Seth was at work.

Weekend Fun

Thanks to my Friday off we had a more relaxing weekend than usual. By the end of Friday groceries were purchased and two meals were made, both providing left overs for lunches next week. Seth has hardly been in the kitchen all weekend, and I don't think he is complaining. (He just confirmed by saying, "He's not."

Saturday morning I got up early to join my sister, Scott and the boys at The Woodlands flea market where you can typically find great kids stuff for super cheap. My purchases this year included a ride on toy for Norah (for $1!), a wooden pull "train" of three animals, and, the one I am most excited about, a wooden farm for her first birthday gift. I found this picture through a quick online search, but I'll take some of ours eventually and post them.

The picture doesn't really do it justice, but it's really cute.

After I got back from The Woodlands Lisa, Dave and Tyce came over. We enjoyed a nice lunch outside at a local favorite. Tyce and Norah both did really well. Tyce is a bit younger, so he is more portable than Norah. Norah had already eaten but she was entertained in her high chair with puffs and milk. We all thoroughly enjoyed being outside after being cooped up all summer, but unfortunately the humidity is back in full force today.

So back indoors today we enjoyed a visit from neighbor P-Dawg...

and from the cousins...

Fun was had by all, especially Luka who wanted to stay with us overnight.

Here is a random picture of Norah - I was attempting to capture the size of her belly. It typically hangs like a front porch over her pants.

First Friday at Home

I don't have much time because I hear Norah stirring from her short nap (I think she's excited to be with mom today), but I will quickly say this Fridays off thing rocks. I got up as usual to work out, so that was taken care of by the time Norah got up. We enjoyed breakfast with Seth, played inside and outside and then Norah went down for her nap. When she gets up we're headed to the grocery store to get that out of the way.

Okay, she's getting serious so I'm going to get her up. Happy Friday!

It's Official - I'm a Part Timer

I am so incredibly happy to report that this is my first official 32 hour week. From here on out (or at least for the 90 day trial period) I will be working Monday through Thursday with THREE DAY WEEKENDS!

Back in May I talked about the difficulty of both of us working full time, rushing home to get Norah in bed and barely seeing her on the week days. My conclusion was that the best option would be to work part time. It took a little for me to think through it all, get the opinion of a few close friends at work, find the right time to have the conversation with my manager, and get it pushed through HR. But I did it.

Oh, and I forgot to mention Seth. In theory it is a no brainer for the good of our family, but we did have to talk through the finances a bit (for anyone who knows Seth this is not a surprise, BUT let me be clear that I love this about him very much). We were considering moving this fall, but after much conversation have decided to adjust to the lower income first and think about a move this spring or maybe even not until next summer. I was starting to feel a little claustrophobic, but I think with some spring cleaning and sending more stuff to the lake we'll be fine. We really like our neighborhood (and the friends we hang out with on our block). The fall and spring are especially fun since everyone is out and about so much more than in the summer. Now I'm actually looking forward to getting ourselves set up to be more comfortable in this place for a while.

Not to mention how much we are both dreading the home selling and buying process...

That's a little stressful, so I'll get back to the fun stuff (for me anyway), which is to remind you that it is Monday and I only have three days left in the work week. Who hoo!

11 Months!

Norah hit the 11 month mark last week.

Unbelievable. I'm slowly starting to get used to the idea that she is moving closer to the toddler stage and...boo hoo hoo...farther from the baby stage, but I still have a ways to go. Perhaps another month will do it.

When Norah's daddy was 11 months old, this is how his mom described him:

"At 11 months Seth is more agile and sure of his movements. He can stand by himself fleetingly and sometimes will walk holding on with only 1 hand. When asked where his book, car, stuffed dog or sock is he will look at the appropriate object but won’t fetch it yet. He is learning to climb stairs. He says Da-da and very infrequently Ma-ma. He now waves bye-bye when he’s going away as well as when others leave. When told “Daddy’s home,” he crawls for the back door. Daddy’s nickname for him right now is “Sprout”, short for bean sprout. He still sleeps very little during the day and wakes up at 7:15 no matter when put to bed. He nurses only 1^st thing in the morning and just before bedtime. He now has 1 upper right front tooth for a total of 5."

The thing that struck Seth and I this past month is the speed at which Norah seems to be changing. Every day seems to bring something new. She continues to work hard on developing her mobility skills. She is a pro at walking with her walker, and while she used to get "stuck" whenever she bumped into an object, she now knows how to manipulate the walker to get it going in the right direction.

Norah is getting more and more comfortable walking while holding on with just one hand. She has also walked without assistance across the room toward me as I continue to scoot backwards. Her preferred method of transportation continues to be either crawling or the walker, however.

Books seem to be of more interest to Norah than in the past. Her favorite is "Touch and Feel Baby Animals," and she often picks this one out of the stack. I still read to her from a selection of library books during most nursing sessions. She is interested in different toys, and we recently realized it is time to put the "baby" toys away. Her play is different as well. She often plays with one toy or book for quite a while. She has figured out how to put objects inside of things, and enjoys throwing and dropping toys.

Norah's bedtime is still 6PM and she generally sleeps until 6:30 or 7AM. Naps continue to be on the short side - on a good day she'll take two 1 hour naps at daycare, but sometimes skips her morning nap all together.

This morning Norah fed herself bananas and pancake muffin. Otherwise, she eats a variety of combinations of food that I prepare and puree. I know that we need to start giving her more opportunity to feed herself and in general lumpier food. We will work on that, and her one bottom tooth (or half of a tooth) will help her with the chewing process (although I do realize she doesn't really require teeth to do a bit of chewing). This past month Norah picked up the sign for "all done," which we have found to be very helpful. We are also working on "more" and "hungry." We don't feed her at all during the week (she eats three meals a day at daycare), so we only have the weekends to work on it.

Besides the solid food that I prepare, Norah drinks about 15 ounces of milk a day at daycare and nurses when she gets up and just before bed. My production has continued to decline, but I am still pumping at work 2 times a day and once before bed to get as much as I can. My freezer supply remains high, so we'll definitely make it to the one year mark. At that point I plan to slowly reduce the pumping sessions, with the goal of continuing to nurse morning and night.

The drive to and from daycare is a bit of a struggle, and frequently includes a fussy Norah. Mom has gotten a bit smarter, though, and is now sure to have entertainment along. A cup of puffs typically does the trick, but I have gotten creative at times by digging through my purse - a tin of mints or floss container in my sunglasses case, for example. The singing that used to do the trick doesn't seem to satisfy Norah anymore, although generally she does enjoy singing.

At 11 months Norah is mostly in 6 month sized clothes. I bought her a few things last weekend - everything 6 months, and everything fits perfectly except the pants, which are a bit too long. We also bought Norah a pair of Robeez last weekend since she is walking around more in public. I was sure the 6-12 month size would be perfect but it turns out she has room to grow in to the 0-6 month size. Her nickname "Little Peanut" still rings true.

The challenges of two full time working parents continue, but Norah's typically content demeanor and bright smiles are a bright spot in our day.

Baby Steps

At work our department's mantra is "baby steps." I guess we have learned that our company can't handle major change or new ways of doing things in large doses. So we usually take baby steps. I will forever think of my current boss when I hear the phrase.

These days, however, the words "baby steps" take on a different meaning for us at home. Norah is, quite literally, taking baby steps (video coming soon, I promise). Tonight she took a few steps toward me--all on her own--several times. And she is loving it, let me tell you.

Norah has changed so much just in the past few weeks. She is babbling a lot now - not just repeating "ma ma ma" or "da da da," but "talking" in sentences with varying intonation. It feels like she is really having a conversation with us. We laugh every time. We're working on catching this on video as well.

We have seen her more than usual this week because she has pink eye. After her eye was red on Monday and Tuesday, we noticed a small white bump on her eyeball (the part that was red) on Tuesday evening. Seth took her in to the doctor on Wednesday since I had a meeting I needed to attend. We were pretty concerned about the bump, but it turns out it was just a symptom of pink eye (just not one that appears to be mentioned anywhere through a basic google search).

We have juggled schedules around since then, and are thankful that we can both work from home for added flexibility. We were both home today, but it was my day to take the lead with Norah, and tomorrow we'll switch. It has been tough to keep up at work, but I have to admit I love any extra time I can get with Norah. The pink eye doesn't seem to bother her at all, so we've been having a lot of fun!

P.S. Big purchase this weekend - we've decided to get a Mac!

A Moment of Panic

Yesterday I started the first of three days of meetings with 30 men and me (I'm used to it by now). I fed Norah at 7AM and headed out. Dinners were scheduled on Tuesday and Thursday as part of the meetings, so I knew I wouldn't see Norah that night. Seth took her to be with my parents at my sister's house, will work from home today so he can have daycare duty, and will take her to be with my parents again tomorrow.

I had previously scoped the scene to figure out where I would pump, and discovered a private stall in the women's restroom, complete with a sink and outlet. I would never choose to pump in a restroom, but I couldn't come up with any other options.

When I arrived yesterday morning I put the pump in the corner of the restroom. Throughout the morning I used the restroom and noted the pump sitting safely where I had put it. Just before 11AM I snuck out of the meetings between presentations to pump, but when I got to the restroom my pump was gone. Heart beating...faster...faster...faster...

Yes, it is the only restroom on the floor, so I knew others would be using it. Yes, I knew it was a risk putting it in there. But I did it anyway. I snuck back into the meeting room to get my badge, and went down to the security desk with the hopes that someone had turned it in. Nothing. They suggested checking with building management. Success! The cleaning lady had turned it in.

I found a safer place to put the pump, but only managed to pump once over lunch, then not again until 5:30. I went to dinner, got home at 9PM and will be back in meetings all day today, again trying to squeeze in a little pumping action. I figure I won't be able to pump as much these three days, but at least we have a three day weekend coming up so I can try to make up for it by feeding Norah more frequently.

I am actually surprised that I haven't had more situations like this where I have to use a little creativity to figure out how I am going to pump. There have been some times where I had clients in from out of town and we blocked off entire mornings or afternoons to meet one-on-one. I guess my approach on those days was typically just to skip the pumping. Luckily it hasn't happened enough to be a big deal.

I am so over the pump, yet at the same time very motivated to keep pumping because I have had such a positive experience nursing Norah. I am not ready to be done. We're 10 1/2 months into my goal of 1 year, so I'm not about to stop now.

Relief

It has been two full weeks since Norah has been in her new room at daycare and I am very happy. I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic, but truthfully I'm just feeling plain optimistic.

Room B

So Norah is officially in Room B starting today. I am very disappointed, however, in our experience this morning.

When I left on Monday the Educational Coordinator told me they would have all of Norah's stuff moved down and get her all set up to start in Room B today (Norah was with my sister yesterday so this gave them a day to do it). I showed up this morning, went to Room B and the teacher obviously was not expecting Norah. Red flag number 1. I found the Director and asked whether Norah should be in Room B and she said, "How old is she?" Red flag number 2 (we had discussed all of this on Monday). I told her 8 months, and she said, "Yes, let's go ahead and put her in Room B," as if she was making the decision on the spot. Red flag number 3. I thought that decision had been made on Monday.

This is how I think it should have gone: Tuesday, while Norah wasn't there, Rochelle and Mattie talk to teachers in both rooms to inform them of the change. Teachers from her old room educate her new teachers about her schedule, habits, etc. Norah's stuff is moved to her new room. They set up an in-box and out-box with her name on it. They put her diapers and wipes on the shelf. They make a place in the fridge for her food. We show up Wednesday morning, everyone is informed, and Norah and I feel welcome in her new room.

Am I being unreasonable? I just don't feel like my expectations are out of line, but please give me a reality check if you disagree.

Another sigh (and more tears)...

A Change for the Better...Hopefully

I haven't really blogged about some of our recent struggles at daycare, so I guess I'll start with the background before getting into the changes the are going to take place.

A few weeks ago they changed Norah's room to an older age (roughly 6-12 months, but more based on mobility). About the same time, a handful of new kids started and were all put into Norah's class. It just so happens that a couple of them are criers. I found it increasingly difficult to drop Norah off in the morning because several kids were always crying. I couldn't wait to get out of the environment myself, yet I had to leave Norah there. I dreaded it every day and left in tears more mornings than not. My game plan last week (the second week after the change) was to drop in at other times of the day to see what the environment was like. I've done that several times, including today, and every time kids are crying. The teachers even commented that they cry all day.

I had also noticed that Norah's main teacher seemed to be frustrated (who wouldn't be in that environment?) and she wasn't always handling the situation in ways that I felt were appropriate, even with me in the room. She also told me one day that she preferred the newborns, which I thought was a little inappropriate considering Norah is in her room , which was no longer a newborn room. (Not exactly what a parent wants to hear.) As I sat there today over lunch feeding Norah, listening to the crying I decided something had to be done. We are paying way too much money for Norah to be in that environment all day long.

I caught the Director on the way out and was quickly in tears. I told her I wasn't comfortable with the environment and that I felt the teacher was becoming worn down or frustrated. She immediately said they would take care of it by moving Norah to another room. We discussed a few options and when I went back tonight they had made a decision. Norah will be at my sister's tomorrow, but on Wednesday she will be all set up in her new room.

The people pleaser, conflict avoider side of me (which can get me into trouble sometimes) feels sort of bad for her current teacher. I think she really does just have some tough babies right now. But at the same time I know it is her responsibity to realize when she is getting overwhelmed and needs help. And another thing - none of that is my problem. My only concern is Norah and that I feel good about the environment in which I am leaving her for 9 hours every day.

So, on Wednesday she will start in classroom B. It just so happens that one of the teachers she started with is in this room, so that will be nice. One thing I am relieved about is that I still feel good about the daycare overall. And, I think they have delt with my situation well so far. I just think they happen to have some tough kids right now, and they all seem to be in Norah's room.

Sigh. My sister warned me that they had completely underestimated the ongoing stress involved with daycare/school. I see what she means. Just when you feel comfortable things change. New kids, a new teacher, a new director - whatever. Hopefully our new room will be better.

Breastfeeding Recovery

Okay, so it happened again - minimal sleep, changes in Norah's habits, a few signs that something wasn't right on the supply front, plus just a tendency to be a wee dramatic at times led to my thinking that my production was decreasing. This time, I really did think it might be a permanent thing. I'm sure Seth would say, "I told you so," because every time I tell him I think I'm having production issues he says, "Are you sure? You've felt like this before and it ends up okay." And every time I say, "No, I'm pretty sure this time."

Anyway, I really didn't want it to be the end, as you know if you read my previous entry on the topic. I got in contact with my doctor, who is a certified lactation consultant, and a huge proponent of breastfeeding. I gave her a basic description of what was happening and the first thing she said was, "I'm not convinced you're having supply issues." She gave me a key piece of information, which I think at least partially explains the issue.

Evidently a span of 6-8 hours without feeding or pumping alters hormonal levels that help to maintain lactation. Who knew? In all the reading I've done I never came across that important nugget of information. Norah started sleeping through the night about a month and a half ago, and I, eager for normal nights of sleep, did not replace pumping with that feeding. In hindsight, obviously that is what I should have done.

So, after enjoying a regular sleep schedule for a month and a half I am back to setting the alarm for between 2 and 3:00AM for a date with my pump. My new schedule is as follows:

7AM feed Norah
10AM pump
1PM pump
3PM pump
6PM feed Norah
9PM pump
2-3AM pump

My main issue with this scheduld (besides the 2AM alarm setting) is the ration of feeding to pumping. It's just not right! As I said to my friend Lisa recently, I live for weekends, holidays and vacations.

At any rate, I am happy to have yet even more knowledge on breastfeeding, hopefully just the infomation I need to keep it going. My goal is to continue for a year. I plan for October 15th, Norah's birthday, to be my last day taking that stinkin' pump to work. On Ocotber 16th, I will hold a small ceremony with a few close friends at work to tear my sticky note that reads, "Please do not disturb" into tiny little shreds.

One thing I learned through this is just how strongly I feel about breastfeeding, and how badly I want to make it at least a year. I think that is part of the reason I was so emotional about it when I thought my produciton was decreasing for good. I'm just not ready to be done.