Are We Weaning for Good?

I read somewhere recently that technically the weaning process begins as soon as babies start eating solids. I can see the logic in that, but had never thought of it that way. Of course I didn't truly know what to expect in terms of how long Norah would nurse, although I was aware that she would be done well before her first birthday. But I didn't want her to be.

Since hitting the one-year milestone things have started to changing. First of all, I began slowly backing off of pumping, and have reached the point now that I am not pumping at all. It was getting frustrating to go through the effort and only pump 1 1/2 ounces at a time. And I feel so light and free as I walk into the office without that bag. One day recently I hadn't taken my computer home, and didn't need a lunch that day so I literally walked in with only my purse.

Over the past month I have noticed changes in my body, and I think it is highly likely that it is all related to changing hormones, which is also affecting nursing. One night last week I didn't feel my milk come in as Norah was nursing before bed. That was a first. The next morning I felt it again, but since then the let down feels noticeably lighter and shorter than in the past.

As a result of these changes, this week my mind has often wondered to my nursing experience overall and our current situation. I've had several conversations with my friend Lisa who is in a very similar situation. (Note: this is the Lisa with 14 month old twins who are still nursing.) She made a very good point - we are spending a lot of time feeling sad about the fact that our nursing days may be coming to and end, and as a result are probably not fully appreciating and enjoying the remaining nursing sessions. Duh! Since she pointed that out (and she was right) I have worked to change my focus.

The thought of possibly being done nursing does still make me sad. But I feel very differently than I have in the past when I feared our nursing days were over. I can sense the freedom that will come along with being done. And while a bit of that may be selfish they are feelings I can't deny. I may be wrong but I think Norah will adjust okay. She is already easily distracted and seems to be getting frustrated at times with how long it takes for my milk to let down. So far she isn't interested in whole milk, but I'm not too concerned. She gets plenty of dairy and we will continue to make sure that happens whether it is through milk or other means.

Obviously nursing has to end sometime, and as we get closer to that time it also means that Norah is continuing to grow and develop. I have been thoroughly enjoying watching that happen lately (when is that not the case?). This morning I asked her how the cow goes and for the first time she went, "mmmmmmm" before I even did it. (I know that isn't quite how a cow goes, but that is how she has been imitating my "mooooo.")

So while I continue to have mixed feelings I am more okay with the thought of being done than I ever have been in the past. And I really don't even know that this is the end. I have just felt enough change recently to have the thought cross my mind.

Nursing has hands down been one of the greatest parenting experiences so far for me and while it has not been easy (actually difficult and painful at times) I am so happy I made the effort. It has all been worth it.