Crying it out, toddler style

Norah has been such a good, consistent night time sleeper over the past two years that I had put us in the "lucky to have a good sleeper" category and, in true "Ang" overly optimistic style, figured we were pretty much home free.

I was wrong.

We have been having sleep issues for, well, I don't know how long. I don't really want to look back and try to figure it out and I haven't kept track because one of the main things that keeps me going is convincing myself that it is just a phase that will pass at some point.

But over the past several weeks it has really started impacting our sleep as well. And I was doing just fine having sleep problems during this pregnancy on my own, thank you very much. I require a solid 8 hours and I simply am not getting it. I know something has to change because this week in particular it has affected my ability to stay calm and patient with Norah as the struggles continue.

What struggles, you ask?

Struggles going down, struggles sleeping through the night, and struggles waking early. All of them. Every single night.

Struggles going down are really, really, really getting old. It is nearly impossible to get out of her room because she is Queen Staller. And once we manage to escape she is in and out of her bed, opening and shutting her door.

We got into the habit of responding a lot, initially chalking the difficulties up to the bed transition, wanting to calm her down and make her feel comfortable in her new environment.

Sometime during the night, every night, she wakes up, opens her door, and cries for us. We put her back in bed, give her a kiss and tell her it's the middle of the night, everyone is sleeping, and she needs to go back to sleep. She usually doesn't have a problem going back to sleep, but it is rare that at least one of us doesn't.

In the morning, she has been waking up consistently between 5:30 and 5:45. I know my expectations are low because when I first hear her I think to myself, "please let the time on my clock start with a 6." All I'm asking for is a 6.

So, as of tonight we are trying three things to improve the situation:

1. We ordered a white noise machine because she seems to be a light sleeper. I told Seth to please help me not be my typical overly optimistic self and get any amount of hope that it is a magic bullet. We turned it on for the first time and told her we weren't going to listen to music anymore. We planned to try no music in an attempt to take away anything that helps her fall asleep and isn't present when she wakes up other times of night.

2. I am making the final part of the routine (when I try to get out of the room) as quick and straightforward as possible. I give her the two minute warning for when Mommy is going to leave. Then the one minute warning. Then I crawl out of her bed (getting harder the bigger I get), and we give each other one hug, one kiss, and one zerbert.

3. We are going back to "crying it out" basics...toddler style (i.e. not pretty).

Here is how Cry-it-out Night Number One went:

6:50 - I leave Norah's room (this is a bit earlier than it has been, but since it's been taking a while for her to actually get to sleep I want to attempt to start earlier).

7:20 - Norah has been crying and playing off and on. She opens her door and cries/screams over and over that she wants her music on and the white noise off. We make a joint decision to put her music on, but also leave the white noise machine on. I go in and turn music on. I escape as quickly as possible, but there is much crying and pleading involved.

7:25 - Norah cries/screams over and over that her diaper is wet. Not sure what to do, I go in and change her diaper (call me a sucker, I just don't know what the right answer is). I escape as quickly as possible, but there is much crying and pleading involved.

7:30 - I hear Norah playing with the night light, which is obviously a major safety issue (note to self - purchase portable night light that does not get plugged in). I go in and calmly explain that she cannot play with the night lights, that it is not safe, they are not toys, etc. I escape as quickly as possible, but there is much crying and pleading involved.

7:33 (immediately after I leave the room) - Norah starts screaming for me to "be by my bedroom" which is something she frequently requests over and over and over again. I pop my head in and attempt to convince her I won't be far away.

7:45 - she has been quiet and I pronounce her asleep.

So nearly an hour later, with 3 1/2 returns to her room, she is finally asleep. The difference is that typically we had been trying to react immediately to her pleas and cries to keep her calm and get her to fall asleep, so there really wasn't much crying. I guess the only difference tonight was that we had the pleasure of listening to her cry as well.

Maybe Cry-it-out Night Number Two will go better tomorrow. I'm pretty convinced this is what we have to do (or at least try).

One last comment, perhaps to defend our actions a bit: Norah has a lot going on these days. We transitioned her to her "big girl" bed, she is potty training, and presumably senses change coming with the baby, but doesn't really know what it all means. That's a lot for a 2 1/2 year old to handle.

But I just can't go on this way, at least without trying some different approaches. I don't have any answers for the middle-of-the-night and early wakings yet, but figure we'll tackle bedtime first and hope the others eventually improve.

I'll save the major nap struggles for another day...